Ray Shero, Trade Master, Gets Jussi Jokinen at Trade Deadline

When a player is in a zone, we sometimes say he's en fuego. Or unconscious. Ray Shero is in the GM zone. The guy is unconscious. He is en fuego. After nabbing Brenden Morrow, Douglas 'Crankshaft' Murray and Jarome Iglina, everybody thought the Pens GM was done. Nope. Not so quick. Today, he pulled the trigger on a trade to get Jussi Jokinen from the Carolina Hurricanes. All he had to give up was a conditional draft sixth- or seventh-round pick in 2013 NHL Entry Draft. The injury bug has hit the Penguins -- Sidney Crosby is out with a broken face; Kris Letang out with a broken toe and other unspecified 'lower body injury'; Paul Martin is out with a broken wrist -- proving the old adage that you cannot have too much depth at playoff time.

photo:  Chris Seward, News Observer

Welcome to Pittsburgh, Jussi. Let's got get us a Cup. I think I will buy a case of beer for Mr. Shero. Perhaps he'd like this brew, from Full Pint:

Sid Crosby Has Broken Face; Out Indefinitely

photo:  Chaz Palla, Tribune-Review

Reports today are that Sidney Crosby has a broken jaw after taking a 90-some-mile-per-hour Brooks Orpik slapshot to the face.

Just when Pens GM Ray Shero had loaded the team up for a serious Cup run, the best player in the world is out. Indefinitely. Talk about going from ecstasy to agony.

Can somebody in my life tell Brooks Orpik to never, ever, ever shoot the puck. Like, ever. Thanks. That's all.

Penguins GM Ray Shero, the Ersatz Cold War Warrior

photo:  The Canadian Press, Jeff McIntosh

Yesterday, my phone beeped a few minutes before 7:00 a.m. Strange time to be getting texts. I grabbed my phone:  "HOLY HELL, WE GOT IGINLA." And with that, I was stupid happy all day long. I was silly, giddy, punch-drunk, I was like a dog going to the park or a kid on Christmas morning. Nothing phased me all day long.

To the old lady who took way, way too long to order her coffee in line in front of me, I simply smiled and thought, "Jarome Iginla, baby. It's cool."

To the wanker who cut me off in traffic, I simply waved and mouthed, "Dude, the Pens got Iginla!"

When the spot I wanted to eat lunch was closed, I just walked on to another destination, thinking, "Jarome Freaking Iginla."

Matt Cooke's Baggage

For a decade, Matt Cooke was among the dirtiest players in the NHL. He had a game beyond the cheap stuff, but still, if there was a questionable hit to be thrown, he threw it. If he could take a guy out, he did. When he arrived in Pittsburgh in 2008, I was torn. I absolutely loved the rest of Cooke's game, but the head-hunting bothered me. Watching him over the years, I loved his energy and the way he crashed the net. I loved how hard he played. But the flagrant elbows to the head and the reckless disregard for player safety troubled me. I wrote about how much it bothered me a number of times, in a number of places, but the two I remember writing were after Cooke's hit left Marc Savard positively lifeless on the ice and after he threw a flagrant elbow to the head of Ryan McDonough. Those were some of the worst hits I've seen, the kind of hits which need to be completely eliminated from the game.

After Cooke missed the remainder of the 2010-2011 season (serving the suspension of the McDonough hit), he was basically on notice by the team. Pittsburgh Penguins GM Ray Shero told him -- one more strike and you're out. In the summer of 2011, Cooke did some soul searching. He sought advice from a number of sources. He decided to play the game differently and worked hard to learn how to do just that.

What if Alex Ovechkin Hired Randy Moss as a Life-Coach?

Randy Moss and Alexander Ovechkin walk into a bar. They sit at table and order drinks. What follows is an exact transcript of their conversation.

"Hey," says Alex, "sorry about the Super Bowl and everything."

"Thanks, man. That does hurt. But you know, I didn't ask you out because of the Supe. I wanted to say something to you I've never said to anybody else."

Alex is puzzled. He gives Randy his best rakish super-villian grin and waits.

"You know, you remind me a lot of me," Randy says.

"I didn't know you watched hockey."

"Nobody knows I do. I keep that on the DL. You know, I have a Hershey Bears sweater? Don't tell anybody, right? Anyway. I really wanted to tell you that ... well, you know how on media day I said that I was the best receiver ever?"

"Heard that."

Randy takes a deep breath, "What I meant to say was that I was the most talented receiver ever."

"I grew up in Moscow and even I know that Jerry Rice does hold the record for most receiving yards," says Alex, flashing that playful KGB grin again.

On the Pittsburgh Penguins Complete Meltdown

Losing is part of being a fan. It's what we sign up for when we decide to give a shit about the athletic exploits of this sports team or that. When you become a fan, you expect to be entertained, hit some high notes and also have moments of deep despair following particularly painful losses. Every fan has a running list of the worst losses of his or her life. It's just part of the package.

If you find yourself walking around in Boston, grab a random person and ask about the worst losses she can remember. I'll betcha she names the 2003 Red Sox or the Patriots loss in SB XLII. If you're in Cleveland, I hope you have some coffee or something, because the list of disappointing losses may be longer than what you bargained for.

Penguins and the Flyers: In the Octagon for Round 1

"Hey you. Hey! Four Eyes!"
"Who me?"
"No, dipsh*t. Him"
"Wha'dya want?"
"Yeah, you. Tell your boss I said, 'Nice tie.'"

Flyers coach Peter Laviolette passes on a compliment to Dan Bylsma via Penguins assistant coach Tony Granato, with the diminutive Pierre McGuire looking on from below.

When the Penguins and Flyers play, even the coaches pop a gasket.

Matt Cooke Shows NHL GMs the Easy, Obvious Solutions to Head-Hunting

NHL general managers are meeting right now and one of the things they’re talking about is how to deal with concussions. What they know is they cannot keep losing players of the caliber of Sidney Crosby and Chris Pronger. What is to be decided is:  how they are to go about protecting their players?

There are some interesting rule changes being discussed:  putting the red line back (boo), removing the trapezoid behind the goalie, and the one I like the most,  a hybrid-icing call proposed by Brian Burke of the Toronto Maple Leafs. I’m sure that the equipment -- particularly the helmets -- can be improved, too.

But even with those changes, suspensions are the best, simplest way to reduce concussions caused by head-hunting.

On Malki-Mania, Winning without Sidney Crosby and the Demise of the Washington Capitals

D'ya think Lightning net-minder Dwayne Roloson is the kind of guy who would, while on safari, poke a hungry lion with a pointy stick? Or who, despite warnings from his local, friendly apiarist, shake up a hive of honey bees while wearing nothing but shorts, flip-flops and a t-shirt? Based on his performance in Pittsburgh yesterday, I think he is just that sort of guy.

I would give this simple piece of advice to the dear Mr. Roloson:  do not poke the Russian Bear in the face like this:

Sometimes I Close My Eyes and Dream of Hip Checks

Last night, I dreamed that NHL disciplinarian Brendan Shanahan suspended Penguins defenseman, Deryk Engelland. For a couple of games. As he should.

In the first period of the Pens thrilling 3-2 win over the Chicago Blackhawks last night, Engelland left his feet and drilled Chicago's Marcus Kruger with a high hit along the boards. I'm not sure if Eggo was targeting Kruger's head, but it doesn't matter what his intentions were. He aimed high and leaped into his check. Somehow the officials missed it. Kruger left the game and I haven't seen a report on his status this morning. If, as predicted by people much smarter than I, Shanahan hands Engelland a two game suspension for the hit, Eggo should take it and say,  "Thank you, sir. May I have another?"

Because NHL players need to learn to stop aiming high. Period.

The Curse of the Winter Classic Sweaters: A Call to Action!

Baseball's fall classic is nearly upon us and my thoughts can't help but run to the sport full of mysticism and metaphysics, faith and the occult. After all, seamheads love the romance of baseball. But what they love even more than all that treacly sentimentality are their curses -- the Curse of the Billy Goat, the Curse of the Bambino, the Curse of the Black Sox, the Curse of Rocky Colavito and the Curse of the Cowboy (how were those for obscure curses for yinz?)

Personally, I don't cotton to curses or karma. I don't subscribe to the belief that mystical forces are afoot in the real world, with fairies and trolls wreaking havoc in our daily lives. I don't believe in god and if I did believe in god, I'm pretty sure he or she would be far too busy with other things than to worry about torturing the fanbase of this or that particular sports franchise.

Sidney Crosby Still Battling Concussion Aftershocks

If you didn't feel the earthquake, then perhaps didn't log on to any hockey news websites yesterday. Because I'm not talking about the quake that rocked the Nation's capital, but rather the aftershocks of internet reports that Sidney Crosby, once again, shut down his off-season workouts, something that Sid's agent angrily refuted, per the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette story.

Even if, as his agent says, Crosby has merely 'adjusted his summer workout' (which I translate to 'scaled back' his notoriously demanding workouts) on his own, isn't that a bad sign, too? This is a guy for whom too much training is never enough. If he's scaling back, that is completely counter to everything he had ever done in his entire life prior to the Winter Classic.

It's Crosby's completeness that makes him the best player in the NHL -- he can score and he plays defense, he is always two or three steps ahead of everybody else on the ice. He scores gritty goals by parking near the net in heavy traffic and he can shoot from the outside. He has moves and grace and speed. He is surprisingly strong, given that he's not really a big guy.

Ray Shero Does Not Play Footsie: Pens Offer to Jagr Withdrawn

Today at noon, Penguins GM Ray Shero withdrew his offer to Czech sniper and former Penguins great, Jaromir Jagr.

I am on record wanting Jagr to come back. I think he can still be a productive player and I stand by that. My mistake was thinking that he had matured some in last decade. I guess not.

Meet the new Jagr. Same as the old Jagr.

The Return of the Jagr-Bomb?

Don't look now, but the Jaromir Jagr hockey sweepstakes are on.

Hey wait. What year is this? Did I wake up in 1990 again?

Damn. I hate when that happens.

Nope, it is 2011. I checked.

And it looks like, after three years playing for the Avangard Omsk of the Kontinental Hockey League, Jagr wants to come back to the NHL. Currently, the Pittsburgh Penguins are in pursuit, as are the Detroit Red Wings and the Philadelphia Flyers (although, with all the craziness in Philadelphia, I'm not sure they can get it together to properly woo the scoring Czech.)

Head Injuries, Progress and Pessimism

I have had this terrible thought for about a month now -- we may not see Sidney Crosby even at the start of the 2011-2012 season.

That Crosby suffered setback from his January concussion(s) mid-way through the playoff series versus the Lightning cannot be a good thing. Head injuries are funny. Not funny ha ha or funny witty, but funny sad ... really, really sad. And also tricky. There's not a straight line of recovery, the way there often is with a knee injury or shoulder injury. Brains are complicated. Months had passed and yet, Sid still had a nasty bout of symptoms. And I wonder ... if three months were not enough for his head to get better, why do we think six months will make it better? Or eight months? There are no guarantees here.

15 Things to Love about the 2010-2011 Pittsburgh Penguins

With the season at a close, the bitter disappointment of losing in the playoffs lingering on our pierogi-loving palates, there is still so much to be thankful for. Its pretty easy to be a Penguins fan and I was thinking about that when I ran across Michael Farber's 20 Things to Love about Hockey at Sports Illustrated.

Here are 15 Things I loved about this past season (of course, I could make a long list of things not to love about this season, leading off with the inconsistency of the disciplinary action of the NHL, but that's for another day perhaps.)

1. 24/7. If you say you didn't love every bleeping second of '24/7' I'll dispatch Steve Downie to make a dangerous run at you (not that that would cause the NHL to suspend him, mind you.)

The HBO crews did an incredible job of filming and putting together a cohesive narrative in zero time flat. I know Pittsburgh fans hate Alex Ovechkin, but I found that he had a certain, strangely appealing rakish quality. He's really the guy I love to hate, unlike guys who I hate-hate (say Zdeno Chara or Steve Downie.) No, the hockey world is a much more entertaining one with Ovie in it. How wonderful for us that the Penguins and Capitals set up so beautifully as diametrically opposed teams. On the one hand, you've got Dan Bylsma's business cool demeanor juxtaposed against Bruce Boudreau; Ovie, with his tattooed, Eurotrash badboy thing contrasted with Sidney Crosby. The Pens franchise with three Stanley Cups and the Caps with their history as choking dogs (per Tony Kornheiser.) Thank you, hockey gods. Thank you.

2. The Build-Up to the Winter Classic. With the Winter Classic upon us, I was dispatched to the Strip District to get some 'wedding' kielbassi from S & D Polish Deli. (If you haven't had it, the wedding kielbassi is twice smoked and the best damned kielbassi I've ever had in my life. Hands down. Go. Get some. Now!) It was the usual Strip day -- T-shirt vendors all cranked up with a myriad of Winter Classic and Penguins T's available (plus lots of riffs on 'Obitchkin' and what have you), bodies jammed into PennMac, lines out the door at DeLuca's. The best part was, as Dickie Dunn might say, the spirit of the thing.

3. Sid's scoring streak. Cheesy mustache notwithstanding, that was one helluva ride. 25 games with at least one point and 26 goals in that time period. As we used to say about Mario -- Magnificent. We are lucky bunch of yinzers to get to watch this guy on a regular basis.

4. Flower Power. No question Marc-Andre Fleury struggled early. No question he lays an occasional stink bomb from time to time. But there is no single player more responsible for their heroic run to the post-season than Fleury. At times, he makes it look effortless. At other times, you marvel at his ability to change directions, get from one side of the crease to the other. The guy keeps getting better and was frankly hosed that he wasn't even a finalist for the Vezina Trophy. At least the fans got it, after the Game 7 loss to Tampa, with chants of "Fleury! Fleury!" raining down on the ice. Thanks, Pittsburgh. Thanks for getting it.

5. The win streak. Twelve is better than Eleven. I view that as a hockey koan for the ages.

6. The Penalty Kill from Hell. None were better than the Penguins penalty kill, effective 86.1% of the time in the regular season. They were so good at it that there were times, sick as I am, I was actually excited for the Pens to go on the kill. (Good thing, too, because the Pens were short-handed 324 times -- second in the NHL right behind Montreal.) Still, it was a strange thing of beauty to watch, that penalty kill -- bodies flying, men taking pucks in their faces and shoulders and feet, Fleury making impossible stops. It was like watching a two-minute version of "300." Only with more plot and better dialogue.

7. The Kids Are All Right. Testy, Conner, Jeffrey, Lovejoy and Tangradi. For a while there, the Penguins had to run a daily shuttle bus to Wilkes-Barre to replenish the troops. And the young guys, all of them, performed admirably. The best of the bunch, I think, was Ben Lovejoy. He also gave me one of my favorite moments of '24/7' with his, "we're going to find the guys who did this and, probably do nothing about it" comment.

8. Eggo laying out Colton Orr. Hypocrite much? Me? Guilty as charged. I'm not a fan of hockey fights. I think the league can and should do away with them, as well as ALL shots to the head. (I'm actually getting tired of writing about the league's need to consistently, seriously clamp down on head shots.) But I have to admit, my inner Ulf Sammuelson came out in full-throated appreciation when Deryk Engelland dropped Colton Orr like a side of beef. Night, night, Colton.

9. The Killer M's, Martin and Michalek. Ray Shero always does a good job in the off-season, but the additions of Paul Martin and Zbynek Michalek were two of his very finest signings. No way on earth do the Pens finish the season with 106 points and just miss winning their division by an eyelash without these guys.

10. The New Barn. Okay, I fess up. I like old stuff. I am a proper Pittsburgher, always suspicious of change. So I worried that the new place would be too nice, encourage too many suits, and be quieter than the old place where we could be ourselves in the rough and ramshackle, dingy but comfy atmosphere of the Igloo. But Consol is awesome. It is really loud and bright, with great sight lines and, though it is new and shiny, we're still all packed in there. And the fans are still the same fans as before. It feels broken in already -- a good thing. Plus, there's a Tim Horton's on the 200 level. Mmmmm ... donuts.

11. Mario's TV. Chicago has their hockey song (great), and Detroit has the squid (bizarre but great), but Pittsburgh has Mario's TV. I love that fans pack in to sit outside, in the shadow of the old barn, to watch the game. I love that we call it 'Mario's TV.' I love that it is representative of what Pittsburghers have long understood intuitively -- sports are no good if they are not shared experiences. If you meet somebody who doesn't love Mario's TV, tell them, "It's a Pittsburgh thing. You wouldn't understand."

12. The maturation of TK. Tyler Kennedy skates hard every shift. He has always done that. After Sid and Geno went down, it looked to me like he tried to do more. Not that he tried to do too much, but that he was doing more. He is a player who has really come into his game, understands what he can do, what he needs to do, and what his line-mates can do. It's a joy to watch a player like that.

13. Disco Dan. If this guy doesn't win the Jack Adams' Trophy, I'm going to demand on a congressional investigation. I always feel confident with Bylsma behind the bench. I'll take my chances with him any day.

14. James Neal's OT. Sure, the euphoria was short-lived, but tell me you weren't up, jumping up and down and shouting in pure, unadulterated joy when Neal sent that puck in over Dwayne Roloson's right shoulder in the second overtime of Game 4 in Tampa?
15. 2011-2012 Season. It's my thinking that the Penguins -- the guys who were able to suit up and play in the absence of Crosby and Malkin -- will be that much better next year. I think they learned about themselves and how to win without two of the best players on the planet. Assuming Sid and Geno are healthy and ready to go next year, the Penguins should be that much better, poised to make a serious run at Sir Stanley. Also, it should be fun to watch. Perhaps Timbuk 3 said it best.

See you in the fall, Puckheads.

[24/7 image from hockey-news-central.blogspot.com; Fleury image and Engelland & Orr image both from Justin K. Aller/Getty Images; Sid & Geno from Yahoo Sports.]

Penguins Go Down Valiantly in Game 7

At various times through this playoff series, I was elated, anxious, irritated, amazed, disgusted, depressed, joyful, angry, delighted and even perplexed.

If the Penguins collective performance in Game 5 was adismal (abysmal + dismal), Game 7 was the opposite.

I was in awe.

Marc-Andre Fleury was magnificent. The penalty killers were just as good, finally shutting down the dynamic Tampa power play.

They generated rushes, they transitioned, they fought for every puck along the boards. They outhit the Lightning by a mile.

It was gutty and gritty and it reminded me of why I like this team so much.

But it wasn't enough.

The Lightning are loaded with goal scorers -- Steven Stamkos, Simon Gagne, Vincent Lecavalier, and, of course, Martin St. Louis. The Penguins were without their best goal-scorers and even though they managed to win more often than not in the regular season, that inability to score in bunches became a deep, life-sucking crevasse in the post-season.

With a full-compliment of skaters and scorers, offensively speaking, the Lightning were shooting with uzis. The Penguins could only counter with flintlock muskets. (Frankly, it should have been more like .38's, and if anybody's seen Kris Letang's shot, I'm sure he'd like it back. You can turn it in at the Lost & Found at Consol Energy Center. Just through the Trib Total Media Gate -- the one opposite the old barn.)

Imagine what Tampa Bay might have looked like without their leader (Martin St. Louis) and one of their best snipers (Steven Stamkos) on the ice? Think they would have been able to bounce back from 3-1?

Me neither.

The other issue with the Penguins and I think this is the real crux of the matter -- was a pronounced leadership void. The Penguins are all good soldiers. Perhaps there are none better than guys like Tyler Kennedy, Mike Rupp, Craig Adams and Max Talbot -- if I were in a foxhole, I'd want those guys with me, for a fact. But Sidney Crosby is the leader of this team, not just in points, not just in goals scored, not just in stick skills. He is their leader in the intangible ways. His heart, his drive, his bravura all power this team. And like good soldiers, they follow him. He doesn't wear that captain's "C" solely because he's a goal scorer. He wears it because he's their unquestioned leader.

Some guys disappeared for much of this series (yes, Letang and Jordan Staal, I am looking at you), but not last night. Game 7, it was all hands on deck and it looked to me like they tried their best, gave their best, most complete effort, ironically enough, in a loss.

Like good soldiers, the Penguins did everything they knew to do, but without General Omar Bradley out there wearing #87, it was a valiant effort in a losing cause.

I'm sad to see the season end, but I never thought they could seriously make a run at the Cup without Sid. Or Geno, for that matter. Some day, the sting of this loss will fade and we'll remember the many good things from this season, but not right now. Today is a good day to mourn.

[Image from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.]

Playoff Preview: Penguins Versus Lightning

How will the series break down? What are the keys for the Penguins if they hope to advance to the second round? How can the Lightning derail this Pittsburgh team? Will I, personally, survive the heightened anxiety of the NHL playoffs?

1. Offense. Even though Steven Stamkos has slowed down considerably from his prolific first-half scoring, he still put 45 pucks in the back of the net (2nd in the NHL) and had 91 points (5th in the NHL). I expect Tampa will try to get him going early in the series, try to feed him opportunities early in the first game, but even if Stamkos doesn't score, the man I most fear is the diminutive Martin St. Louis. I love this guy. I love watching him play. I love how he skates through defenses to create opportunities. Appropriately enough for a guy who plays on the Lightning, the guy is electric. If this Tampa Bay team were playing any other team, I'd be rooting for them, based on my fondness for St. Louis. Which is why he and his 99 points (2nd in the league) and 68 assists (also 2nd) scare the beejesus out of me. He's the offensive engine that really drives the Lightning. Plus Vincent Lecavalier looks resurgent -- and that's quite a one-two-three offensive punch for the Bolts.

Sidney Crosby has been out for three and one-half months and he still leads Pittsburgh in goals (32) and points (66) and while the Penguins have done a noble job of manufacturing points, these are the playoffs and Chris Kunitz, Mark Letestu and Tyler Kennedy are going to be facing top defensive units -- goals are going to be even harder to come by. Even before Evgeni Malkin blew out his knee, Pittsburgh fans were disappointed in his production, but you cannot tell me that now, in the playoffs, you wouldn't kill to have an explosive scorer like Geno back on the ice? In their time together in Pittsburgh, Sid and Geno have combined to account for 30.7 percent of the team's playoff goals since 2007 -- nearly a third of their goals, fer cryin' out loud.
ADVANTAGE: LIGHTNING (huge advantage, editorially speaking)

2. Defense. This may be the Penguins best and most improved unit. Despite the marked paucity of defensive stats available, I decided to beat my head against a wall and try to crunch defensive numbers anyway. That's just how I roll. I used the top seven defensemen for each team -- for the Pens: Kris Letang, Brooks Orpik, Paul Martin, Zbynek Michalek, Ben Lovejoy, Matt Niskanen and Deryk Engelland -- for the Lightning: Victor Hedman, Mike Lundin, Pavel Kubina, Brett Clark, Mattias Ohlund, Randy Jones and Matt Smaby.

The Pittsburgh defensemen are a combined plus 40. Tampa's corresponding crew are a combined minus 7. That's just a shocking disparity. Shocking. Meanwhile, the Pens defensemen have scored 137 points and the Lightning 110. And, in another nice little stat, the Pens defensemen have netted five game winners, versus the Lightnings' two.

It's more than numbers, though. In the off-season, Ray Shero went out and got shot-blocking savants, Zbynek Michalek (146 blocks) and Paul Martin (129 blocks). Then, Coach Dan Bylsma installed a defense meant to protect the net-minder, but also to turn it around and head the other way -- Pittsburgh transitions from defense to offense as well as any team in the league, creating opportunities on the other end. And they are used to winning tight games, ranking third in the league in winning percentage in one-goal games. The playoffs are tight games more often than not.
ADVANTAGE: PENGUINS

3. Goaltending. It is true that to start the season, Marc-Andre Fleury had his head lodged up his fetching little behind and I don't think I will ever figure out just what was wrong with him in the fall as he absent-mindedly watched pucks whiz by from time to time. When Bylsma started Brent Johnson for a stretch until Fleury got some things figured out, there were the nay-sayers who worried that Flower's ego would be permanently damaged or, at the very least, that his relationship with Disco Dan would be forever ruined. Pah-tooey. I did not believe and still do not believe for one hot second that Fleury, a Stanley Cup winning goalie, is so fragile that a couple of benchings when he playing like ass will cause him to fall apart. He's tougher than that and it's ridiculous that anybody thinks that about him. I believe that he is the main reason they are in the playoffs and hosting this round.

On the other side, Dwayne Roloson is a cagey old net-minder, a steady presence in net that Tampa Bay was needing. He's been great for the Lightning and, like St. Louis, were he matched up against any other team, I'd be rooting for him. That said, he's not the kind of stopper that Fleury can be. He just doesn't have it in him.

The Penguins allow just 2.39 goals per game on average and the Lightning 2.85. Much of the burden of getting the Penguins through the first round is squarely on Flower's shoulders who is often magnificent, but I'd be foolish to ignore the fact that he does lay an occasional stinker (and when he does play a stinker of a game, it is bad stinky). Even given that, 'll take Fleury with all the pressure any day of the week.

ADVANTAGE: PENGUINS

4. Special Teams. The Lightning rank sixth in the league in power play efficiency, scoring 20.5 percent of the time they have the man advantage.

The Penguins rank first in penalty kill (even without Matt Cooke because of his idiocy), killing off the man advantage 86.1 percent of the time.

My friends, something has got to give.

I have to wonder if it might be the Pens penalty killing unit actually scoring a goal, particularly given that the Lightning have given up 16 short-handed goals, more than any other team in the league and we know how the Penguins love to get in transition on the kill unit.
ADVANTAGE: PENGUINS (ever so slight)

How is it all going to shake out?
This is a tight series. The Lightning can be explosive. Roloson can pitch an occasional shut out. It's always harder to score in the playoffs and the Pens are already offensively challenged. As good as Fleury and the defense are, there's no way they're going to be able to shut out St. Louis, Lacavalier, and Stamkos, not to mention Simon Gagne and a very motivated Ryan Malone.

Even so, there is something special about this Penguins team. They keep winning against all odds. If they want to continue to do so, they will have to manufacture goals from somewhere. With Staal, Kennedy, et al facing the toughest defensive pairings, they need a boost from their third and fourth line guys and their defensemen. Craig Adams and Mike Rupp, Michalek and Ben Lovejoy: come! on! down!

If you were a mad scientist and you went into a lab to create perfect fourth line guys, what you might come out with would be Adams and Rupp. They just do everything so well, all the little things. And no, they don't have the speed of Chris Conner, or the vision of Sid, or the hands of Malkin. This is why they are fourth line guys. But they are smart, they crash the net, and they lean on teams. In the last five games of the season, Rupp had three goals and an assist, while Adams had one goal and two assists. The defensive guys chipped in down the stretch too, with young Mr. Lovejoy contributing four assists and Michalek adding two goals and one assist.

The other place I would look for an offensive surge is none other than Max Talbot. Talbot has been a big game player in the past (I need not remind Pens fans of his two goals in Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals versus the Red Wings). Could we be so lucky as to see a return of Super Max?

Sid Crosby Extends Scoring Streak to 22 Consecutive Games

And the beat goes on, the beat goes on.

Sid keeps shooting and scoring every night.

La de da de de, la de da de da.

Sid netted his 28th goal of the season last night, streaking down the left wing, effortlessly picking up a feed from linemate Chris Kunitz and let a slap shot fly that blew right through Panthers' netminder, Tomas Vokoun.

When Sid first arrived, he was an assist man. Despite his speed and hands, he seemed to use his talents to feed the puck to other players. Then he added scoring to his bag of tricks, winning the Rocket Richard trophy last year (with Tampa's Steven Stamkos). But most of those goals came from close in on the net. He's got sneaky quick hands and can flip the puck into tight spaces near the goal mouth. This year, we're seeing him take, and make, more outside shots.

From his rookie year through now, I think Sid's to do list looks like this:
-- Win Stanley Cup -- CHECK
-- Win Olympics -- CHECK
-- Lead team in assists -- CHECK
-- Become a feared face off man -- CHECK
-- Score more -- CHECK
-- Improve slap-shot and one-timer -- CHECK.

I hope catching up to Mats Sundin (Quebec Nordiques) 30 consecutive games point streak (1992-93) is next on the list.

Caps Coach Bruce Boudreau's F-Bomb Rant from the First Epi of HBO's '24/7'

What follows is an exact transcript of Boudreau's rant delivered to his team between the 2nd and 3rd periods of the Caps December 9th game versus the Florida Panthers. The wonderful camera crews were hard at work to capture this coaching genius for the HBO series, "24/7".

Needless to say, parental discretion is advised:

Have a seat for a second. Look it, I have never seen a bunch of guys look so fucking down when something bad happens. What are you guys? Like prima donna perfect that if you can't fuckin' handle adversity? So shit's not going right. It's not fucken' working the last ten days. Fucking get your heads out of your ass and fucking make it work by outworking the opposition. You kill two fucking men, and then we stand around and watch while they fucking score here. Fucking yous come to the bench like fuckin' this and when the power play it's not working so you're trying to stick handle, you're looking like this and not standing. Outwork the fucking guys! If you want it, don't just think you want it. Go out and fucking want it. But you're not looking like you want it, you look like you're feeling sorry for yourself. And nobody fucking wants anybody that's feeling sorry for themselves. You got 20 fucking minutes. You're down by one fucking shot. Surely to fuck we can deal with this.

Now that, my friends, is motivation.