A couple years ago, Chad Ochocinco (soon to be Chad Johnson again) asked to be traded by the Cincinnati Bengals.
Now, quarterback Carson Palmer is asking to get out.
I don’t know if they still have a caged Bengal Tiger on the sidelines of Bengals games (they used to back in the Boomer Esiason era), but it seems to me that’s a pretty potent metaphor for life as a Bengal. Caged. Trapped in Cincinnati. With the world's worst owners.
Speaking of the world's worst owner, Bengals owner Mike Brown refused to shop Ochocinco and has told Carson the same thing. No trades, bub. He does not trade.
And why would Brown trade anybody? If he trades Palmer, then Domata Peko will want out. And Leon Hall will come knocking, wanting out. Then Jermaine Gresham will demand a trade. It’ll be a freaking Bengals stampede.
To paraphrase the great, great Judd Nelson in ‘The Breakfast Club,’
“If Carson gets out, we’ll all get out. It’ll be anarchy!”
I now return you to your regularly scheduled reading about relevant football clubs.