Carson Palmer Wants Out of the Jungle

A couple years ago, Chad Ochocinco (soon to be Chad Johnson again) asked to be traded by the Cincinnati Bengals.

Now, quarterback Carson Palmer is asking to get out.

I don’t know if they still have a caged Bengal Tiger on the sidelines of Bengals games (they used to back in the Boomer Esiason era), but it seems to me that’s a pretty potent metaphor for life as a Bengal. Caged. Trapped in Cincinnati. With the world's worst owners.

Speaking of the world's worst owner, Bengals owner Mike Brown refused to shop Ochocinco and has told Carson the same thing. No trades, bub. He does not trade.

And why would Brown trade anybody? If he trades Palmer, then Domata Peko will want out. And Leon Hall will come knocking, wanting out. Then Jermaine Gresham will demand a trade. It’ll be a freaking Bengals stampede.

To paraphrase the great, great Judd Nelson in ‘The Breakfast Club,’

“If Carson gets out, we’ll all get out. It’ll be anarchy!”

I now return you to your regularly scheduled reading about relevant football clubs.

Get Yer Popcorn Ready -- It's Bengals Week

It's time for a little game at Balls & Whistles. Not a football game. This game is called, "Name. That. Jerk!"

There are 10 quotes below, each bon mot dropped by either Terrell Owens or Chad Ochocinco. See if you can match the quote to the bigmouth. [Key at bottom.]

1. "A hockey player would have took that. Kept on ticking. That just shows you how soft Ben is."

2. “Like my boy tells me; if it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, by golly, it is a rat.”

3. "What I think of the Pro Bowl, I've been there and done that. It's like being married for 30 years. Once you've been married for so long, (expletive deleted) you get tired of it. Right?"

4. "I feel now I can take my talent through the roof."

5. "There are two things for Brother Harris this week. The bad thing is, he has to cover me. The good is he can save 15 percent by switching his auto insurance to Geico."

6. "I'll watch the highlights every now and then but, as far as watching the game, I feel like I am the game."

7. "If you're going to do it, do it very cautiously. If you're going to ride a bike, ride it the right way. Don't speed. Do it for enjoyment. If you're going to bungee jump, have two cords in case one snaps. I don't ride anything. I just talk trash. That's it."

8. “It doesn’t become flattering, it becomes frustrating. You have to put yourself in my shoes."

9. "A lot of people think I'm stuck up. Pretty much that I'm arrogant. I only do that when I'm on the field."

10. “Like I always said, if I'm one of the top players in the game, pay me like I'm one of the top players in the game.”





Key
1. TO
2. TO
3. Ochostinko
4. TO
5. Ochostinko
6. TO
7. Ochostinko
8. Ochostinko
9. TO
10. TO