Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Why I Hate Janet Jackson

From True/Slant on November 12, 2009:

Oh, it all started innocently enough, a tiny bit of nipple showing for a nanosecond during the halftime performance at Super Bowl XXXVIII. The NFL got their collective brassieres in such a bunch over nipple-gate that halftime has gotten older and older, tamer and tamer, and now even lamer.

First it was Paul McCartney. Old. Then the Stones. Old. Then the formerly interesting artist formerly known as Prince. Used to be good, now he’s old. Then Tom Petty. Old and lame. Then the Boss. Old.

So just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, Sports Illustrated reports:

"Who wants some breaking news? Who wants to know who is performing at halftime of Super Bowl XLIV on Feb. 7 in Miami? Who wants me to shut up and just get to it already? Well, if you haven’t figured it out by now, according to a source, The Who will take the stage during the NFL’s championship game. Reached for comment, an NFL spokesperson said, “When we have something to announce, we’ll announce it.” I can assure you I’m not just writing this because Tori Praver rocked this body paint in Sports Illustrated’s 2007 Swimsuit Issue, which was billed as “The Music Issue.” The Who will be performing at the Super Bowl."

It’s all Janet’s fault that I have to watch a geriatric Roger Daltry preening around the stage. No doubt topless. And I wonder if Pete Townsend still has the upper body strength required to smash his guitar on stage?

Maybe they can get the Dead to play next year. Not the Grateful Dead, just various dead musical acts.

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