Jesse Jackson Never Met a Microphone He Didn't Like

From True/Slant on July 12, 2010:

Jesse Jackson, Making America Safe for Lebron James

First there was the stupidity of Team LeBron deciding that he needed to express his inner special-little snowflake-ness to its fullest by announcing his intentions on an hour-long ESPN special.

Then, there was the callow stupidity of ESPN brass who agreed to air a full hour of such egomaniacal tomfoolery. To say nothing of the idiocy of Jim Gray’s fawning “interview” with LeBron.

And LeBron himself, who sounded like the love child of Narcissus and whoever was the Greek God of Dopes.

Just when it seemed impossible that anybody could out-stupid the ESPN-James-Gray cabal, Cavs owner Dan Gilbert released his petulant, idiotic response.

It was a nationally televised festival of absurdity. Where is Samuel Beckett when you need him?

I didn’t think it could get any stupider, really, because what could possibly be more inane than Lebron, ESPN and Gilbert? And that’s saying something, considering that we live in an era of NFL football players who are dumb enough to tweet about their marijuana use (hey, it happened, okay) but last week’s Lebron’s Ego Fair was a new low in brainlessness. What could surpass it?

Enter, one Reverend Jesse Louis Jackson, Sr. According to ESPN:

"Jesse Jackson criticized Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert on Sunday, saying Gilbert sees LeBron James as a “runaway slave” and that the owner’s comments after the free-agent forward decided to join the Miami Heat put the player in danger."

Gilbert’s comments were thoughtless and unprofessional. The guy is an entitled jerk, or at least that’s how he behaved. Frankly, he should be embarrassed for behaving with less maturity and grace than a 12 year old girl who’s parents won’t take her to the Jonas Brothers concert. But a runway slave? Putting Lebron in danger? Thanks, Jesse, for taking an already epically moronic situation and making it exponentially even more idiotic. What do you expect from the guy who said he wanted to cut a certain body part of a (then) presidential hopeful?

I already feel dumber for having written this.