2010 NCAA Men's Tournament: Bracket of Spite

From True/Slant on March 20, 2010:


The Key to March Madness Happiness: Rationalization.

This year, as Cinderellas crash the ball like a pack of marauding visigoths, unkempt, uninvited guest in glass slippers, my bracket is in worse shape than the crew at Sober House. Thanks to St. Mary’s, Old Dominion and Murray State sacking big favorites, I’m getting my ass kicked by a woman who claims to know less about basketball than I know about cul-de-sacs and carpools, as even the big conference baddies who survived had to fight tooth and nail to fend off the ill-mannered small conference foes.

Nova squeaked by Bobby Mo, Wisconsin narrowly escaped the mighty Wofford Terriers, perennial Elite Eight invitees, Tom Izzo’s Spartans, snatched an ugly victory from New Mexico State, and Tennessee got a scare from the San Diego State Aztecs.

Don’t those guys know they’re supposed to be grateful just to be here?

All of which is to say that, outside of the four No. 1 seeds, there were few convincing wins through the first few days, except for WVU and Pitt, Maryland and Ohio State. Not to mention powerhouses like … Cornell and Ohio U?

So, brackets aflame, I am liberated, yes, truly liberated and free as a bird to add my Sheet of Sh*t (versus my Bracket of Spite) to the compost, sit back and claim that I just picked the wrong upsets. Heck, even Prez. Obama picked Siena to upset Purdue. I am not alone.

Meanwhile, I am free from the hegemony of the Sheet of Sh*t to root for Pitt, WVU and every underdog left from Northern Iowa to St. Mary’s and my favorite little MAC conference team who could, the Ohio U. Bobcats.

Welcoming home my old friend rationalization. Well, it just makes me all, like, tingly ‘n stuff.

I am hoping to do better in my women’s bracket (couldn’t be worse) while I shoot for finishing dead last in the men’s True/Slantment of Champions. If I can pull that off, I’m counting on His High Overlord, Michael Roston, from the comfort of his True/Slant Lair, to give me a little something, you know, for the effort.

So I got that going for me.