Wednesday, July 28, 2010

LenDale White's New No Tequila Weight Loss Program

From True/Slant on August 3, 2009:

1,000 Shots of Tequila.

Or, Ask Dr. Fishbucket, the NFL Edition.

On Sunday, Sports Illustrated reported that LenDale White of the Tennessee Titans reported to camp more than 30 pounds lighter than last year. You sexy, svelte thang, LenDale.

LenDale’s secret? Weight Watchers? NutriSystem? The SouthBeach Diet? Liposuction? Nope. It’s a weight loss plan all of his own, LenDale’s Genius Weight Loss Diet, described in SI as follows:

“I really got to be honest,” White said. “It wasn’t a lot of major diet changes. (It was) watching what I drink. I was a big Patron consumer. … That’s what it was. I was drinking a lot, drank a lot of alcohol. I cut that out of my diet all the way. I don’t drink at all. I cut the drinking, I stopped drinking for six months. … It started falling off.”

Dr. Fishbucket is here with her handy abacus.

A quick google indicates that in order to lose one pound, a person needs to burn (or eliminate) 3,500 calories.

So, to yield a weight loss of 30 pounds, one must burn or cut 105,000 calories. Assuming all other factors remained the same for White, and that the only change was the tequila, he eliminated 105,000 calories of tequila this past off-season.

His preferred tequila is Patron (Dr. Fishbucket approves) which contains about 70 calories per ounce (or 105 calories per shot.)

105,000 calories in units of Patron then, equals 1,000 shots of tequila.

We can assume then, that from February, 2007 to August, 2008 LenDale drank 1,000 shots of tequila; whereas this winter and spring, he did not.

1,000 shots of tequila over an NFL off-season (approx. six months) equals about 167 shots per month.

Or 38 1/2 shots per week.

Or 5 1/2 shots a day.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

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