Fake Brett Keisel Beards for Sale

The Strip District may be my absolute favorite neighborhood in Pittsburgh. I have spent countless mornings there, and every now and again, I get really lucky and I can see the years, more than a century of life pass by me -- industry, workers, commerce, butchers, bakers, candlestick makers, immigrants arriving and becoming a part of the place, the population shifting, growing, diminishing, and somehow growing again. It is a beautiful thing and a magnificent place. Truly. But yet, for all of that time, all of those mornings and afternoons and nights spent there, I only recently noticed this - "Troy Plaza" in brass plate laid in the corner of the sidewalk at 20th and Penn Avenue.Given it's location at the epicenter of sales of all things black and gold -- t-shirts, Terrible Towels, hats, scarves, dog collars, onesies, Troy Polamalu wigs and Brett Keisel beards -- I believe that it should be renamed "Troy Polamalu Plaza." Any Burghers out there know why this is named Troy Plaza? I really do want to know.

There were a huge number of Polamalu jerseys being worn this morning (no kidding that guy is No. 1 in jersey sales in all the NFL; at least half the population of Western Pennsylvania has a #43 jersey), but I also saw a good number of other players, both current and old timers represented: James Harrison, Heath Miller, LaMarr Woodley, Ben Roethlisburger, Hines Ward, Jack Lambert, Franco Harris and Terry Bradshaw. I even saw a Ryan Clark jersey, so that was cool.

Even though moshing our way down Penn was a bit like salmon swimming upstream (they blocked Penn to car traffic before XL, why not XLV?), everybody was feeling festive, happily waiting in line for biscotti and coffee, cheese and salsas, bread and t-shirts. There was a line out the door for DeLuca's that had to have been 40 people deep. At least.

Then, this guy was stationed just past Mike Feinberg's, playing the flute along to that ridiculous "Here We Go Steelers" song. Flute solos. I just don't hear enough of them.[If you're not from Pittsburgh, you don't know the song I'm talking about and for that you should be grateful. If you are from Pittsburgh, you know what I'm talking about and, hey, sorry for the nasty earworm.]

I stopped in at Prestogeorge to pick up some Antigua Guatamala coffee and was greeted by this sign.Best story of the day came courtesy of a friend who was working down at the Pittsburgh Public Market. Sadly, I had just missed it, but a couple was fighting right next to his vendor spot, and not a cute, "Honey, you know I'm right ..." kind of fight. They were fighting, genuinely hopping mad, really yelling at each other. He thought they might come to blows. The subject of the fight?

Who got to wear the Brett Keisel Beard.

Only in Pittsburgh. Is it time for the kick off yet?

Pittsburgh Has Steelers Fever. And the Only Prescription Is More Steelers

Today I had a bunch of errands to run. My first stop was the bank, where my teller was decked out in a Heath Miller jersey and Heath Miller earrings. She loves Heath, she told me. (And I'll tell you, just from my anecdotal research, the ladies love them some Heath Miller.) I was not surprised that she (and the other staffers at the bank were wearing Steelers jerseys - three staff members - one Troy, one Hines and one Heath) because for too many years, I worked downtown where most offices relax their dress code to allow for the ubiquitous and inevitable Steelers jerseys on Fridays before games. Attorneys who have to appear in court cannot adorn themselves in such manner (though a few do), so they opt for Steelers earrings or ties or something along those lines. That's just during the regular season, mind you. Steelers fever is viral when the team advances to the Super Bowl. The hypocycliods. They are everywhere. Terrible Towels become decorating rage de rigueur.

Of course, after my transaction, my teller and I parted ways with a mutual, "Go Steelers!" I had to think that, although Pittsburgh is a city which loves and respects idle chit-chat between strangers year round, we take it to heretofore unknown heights during the playoffs, particularly Super Bowl week. Instead of passing the time with comments about the weather (always popular) or some idiotic politician or some idiot driver, etc., the idle banter goes all-Steelers, all-the-time. Productivity must fall into a veritable crevasse throughout Western Pennsylvania on a day like today.

If a person landed in Pittsburgh today, understanding not a drop of English, they would surmise based on the circumstantial use of the phrase, "Go Steelers," that it meant "good-bye" or "have a nice day."

Then it was off to Waterworks to hit a few stores (chief among them, Bed, Bath & Beyond because the g-d supermarket never has parchment paper or butcher's string and, really, why is that?) and a few other stores. As I walked from one end of the strip mall to the other, nearly every store had a sign in the door to the effect of, "We are closing at 6:00 on Sunday. Thank you for your understanding. GO STEELERS!"

It's a sickness.

Tomorrow, a dispatch from the Strip District, the epicenter of Steelers ridiculousness and fun.

Serenity Prayer for the AFC Championship

Chief (or God, whatevs),

Grant me the serenity to make it through this week's game without throwing anything or actually physically injuring myself. (You know what I'm talking about. January, 2006 ... Indianapolis ... I don't think I need to go on.) Grant me the courage and grace to wish the Jets well should they outplay my Steelers. And grant me the wisdom to take a xanax after the game Sunday night so that I can get some sleep.

Truly, I am trying to go into this game with a sense of perspective.

Back in August, did anybody seriously expect the Steelers to even be playing in the AFC Championship game? Be honest, now. Nobody expected this [except Peter King, who predicted a Packers-Steelers Super Bowl.]

But most of SteelerNation wisely lowered our expectations, given that the Steelers were coming off a heinous 2009 season with the defense looking old, pliable, to be brutally honest, fair to middling. We thought the playoffs might be out of reach, given that the team was heading into the 2010 season without Pig Ben for the first four games, with Santonio Holmes gone to the Jets (of all freaking places), with Willie Colon lost for the season before the pre-season even started. Think back to those days when it was hot, rather than a sheet of ice outside and who among us thought they could win even 10 games? Personally, I figured it would be another disappointing 9-7 year.

The fact that the Steelers are playing in this game is gravy and I will do my best to be mindful of that Sunday night, despite the temptation to get swept up in the emotion of the thing.

That the Steelers are not only playing in this game, but hosting it? Well, that's some Top Chef worthy gravy on top of gravy.

Hosting this game is an absolute good. No matter the outcome.

I heard on the radio yesterday that the Winter Classic brought $22 or $23 million in revenue into the city. Last year, when the Steelers missed the playoffs altogether, the Trib reported that losing just one game was a loss of about $18 million in income. Anecdotally, you don't have to be a rocket scientist to see how good it is for the city. Go down to the Strip District on Saturday morning and just try to find a parking space anywhere closer than the 31st Street Bridge. It's not just revenue from Polamalu jerseys, Terrible Towels and black and gold t-shirts that read, "Drink Up Yinz Bitches" -- it's hotels, restaurants, bars, etc., and I remain convinced that supermarkets and beer distributors see an uptick in sales, as people load up with game day fixins'. Bartenders and waitresses all over Western Pennsylvania rejoice!

As to the opposition, well, first a big, big thank you to Mark Sanchez and Company for sparing us all from a Steelers trip to Foxboro.

Next, let me run down the list of Jets players I hate ... um ... Surely there are some. Wait, I'm sure there's somebody, one player, per my friend Smiley:

"Antonio Cromartie stomped on The Towel when he ran out of the tunnel before kickoff of the Chargers playoff game I went to two years ago. Welcome back to Pittsburgh, Antonio. The Towel never forgets."

So there's that. One must never, ever disrespect the Towel. But that's only one player, a woefully low percentage of players for whom I harbor any enmity compared to say, the Patriots or my historical pantheon of hatred for the Cowboys and the Raiders.

Plus, I was a big Darrelle Revis fan back when he played for Pitt, so if we're being honest here, I would root FOR the Jets over a good number of possible AFC opponents. Hate the Jets? Nah. Not really.

What about Rex Ryan, you say? It's true that many (maybe most) of my friends have had enough of the Sexy Rex Ryan show, but I love Rex. The guy is funny, he's entertaining, he seems to be really, very much himself and that's refreshing. Last year, going into a game with the Colts, he said, "We're going to start with the injury report. Manning, Clark, Addai, Reggie Wayne, Freeney, Mathis, Brackett. ... All those guys will not play. Tom Moore, Howard Mudd and John Teerlink should get more extended Christmas break, it says here. Oh, hold up. That was my wish list for Santa Claus."

This year, before a game with the Browns, Rex showed up in a wig and Browns cap, mocking his brother Rob, the Browns defensive coordinator. I swear, I watched it every time they ran it on SportsCenter and laughed my ass off every time.

But it's not all bluster and trash-talk. After his team went out and got their asses soundly beaten (45-3) by the New England Patriots in prime-time about a month ago, Ryan took the heat off his guys, saying that the loss was on him, that Bill Belichick outcoached, "I came in here to kick his butt and he kicked mine." And even after the Jets stunning upset of the Pats on Sunday night, Ryan said that Belichick still outcoached him, but that his players, Ryan's players, outplayed the Pats. Nice. Take credit for the losses, give credit for the wins. I'm not quite sure why people dislike this guy. Seriously.

So, I am going to do my best to remain calm, keep things in perspective. It's a football game, after all. One I never expected the Steelers to be in, one I never expected the city to benefit from hosting, so I'm going to try to remind myself of all of the above, if things start to run off the rails sometime around 8:00 on Sunday night.

All bets are off, however, if the Steelers give up a special teams touchdown.