"An Ohio man says he is seeking a jury trial on a charge of driving under the influence that was slapped on him after he crashed the vehicle he was piloting -- a barstool. ... His homemade vehicle was made from a barstool welded to a small metal frame attached to a five-horsepower lawnmower engine, four wheels and a lawnmower steering wheel, according to the Newark, Ohio, police accident report."
Just a little fender bender as he careened over and off the homeade bar-scooter. After consuming 15 beers.( Now, of course, he told police 15 beers. But doesn't everybody lie to the police about this? For instance, if you've had five, don't you say you've had two or three? So if he said 15, can't we assume that he had 20. Although, once you get into double digits, we're probably just picking nits.)
I don't want to tell you where this thought has lead me, but, really, with the cost of gas and sponsorship for NASCAR, can't we just rig out bar stools and race them? Consumption of a six-pace pre-race would be mandatory, of course. Who wouldn't pay to see that?
The great state of Ohio brought you the Wright Brothers (from Dayton) and now Kile Wygle, mechanic, visionary and drunk. God bless America.